My Thoughts of Today.

 

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I’ll be honest I struggle with this on a daily. So many nights after Nora goes to sleep and the day has come to an end. I feel defeated. The phrase, ‘the cleaning can wait, your baby won’t last’ literally haunts my mind. Did I spend enough time with her? Instead of doing the dishes should I have gotten on the floor and played with her? It’s a love hate thought though, because I’m the sole person who keeps the house up and functioning. And while I would LOVE to be able to play and laugh and sing with my babies all day I feel it’s impossible if I want to keep a house that’s free of mold from dirty dishes and bits and pieces of stuff up off the floor so the baby doesn’t eat it. Some nights I lay in bed wishing the kids were still awake so I could play with them because I felt my time that day was cut short by my other duties. I often feel like an insufficient mother. And that’s terrible to say but hey, I’m being honest here. I guess a big feeling I have, too, is guilt and that pulls at my heart strings. I feel guilty for telling Nora I can’t pick her up right now because my hands are full of water and soap while washing dishes. And I feel guilty that I use the TV as a distraction, sometimes, when I need to do laundry or work on our businesses.  I’m always doing something.  And then I feel bad for my hubby because by the time I sit down on the couch next to my hubs (still thinking of stuff that needs done) I’m instantly having to pry my eye lids open.

However, after reading this it occurred to me that I really shouldn’t feel these things. I should feel victorious.  As parents, we have to stop shaming ourselves and being so critical of ourselves and our abilities. It’s a hard process to do. Believe me, I’ve been working on it for a while now. Slowly I feel that I am getting there, though.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

How do other parents balance this?

Us momma’s (and da-da’s) have to stick together!

Try and have a great hump day everyone!

One Comment Add yours

  1. Julie Hurd says:

    I understand how you are feeling, many new mothers feel this way too. They know that the little bundle of joy will soon grow up and then they will look back and wonder were all those years went, and begin to question if they did a good job. I have had those feeling too, and its normal. Unfortunately cleaning house is just one of those things, but make this a family effort, make it fun, this is time that they will remember. Turn away from a chore and turn it in to a fun task. I know Nora is little young, but you can still teach her thru your chores, and tell her about why your doing them and have her help you. Kids feel especially good when they can help. At first it may feel like a difficult chore, because you will have pull back from other family members, but over time it will become fun, involve them in cooking, cleaning this is considered family time.
    Enjoy mommy hood, its just the beginning!
    Love your Mom

    Liked by 1 person

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